11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
smell my finger.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
