K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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