i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
