We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
