Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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