Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
