I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
