hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
