I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
