Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
