suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
