i don't like sucking hair
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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