in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
