im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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