If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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