I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
