i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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