i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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