My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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