it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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