if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
