was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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