Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
