Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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