someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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