quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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