I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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