is your mom at the bar?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
