I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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