let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
