Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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