I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
