he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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