oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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