alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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