Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
