i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize