Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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