Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
