So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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