Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
