I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
