are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
