then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
