Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
