They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
