first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
