How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
