There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
