come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
