i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
