and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
ok first of all what the fuck
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
